CANADA OH CANADA

28 October 2026 

I was amused to read Jonathan Biggin’s piece in the Guardian about being a cultural tour guide because I too have had that experience. Once, but never again.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2026/oct/27/a-job-that-changed-me-tour-guide-for-seniors-art-lovers?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

When I first started work at Melbourne Theatre Company, we were in debt. A very large debt. I needed to come up with all sorts of ways to raise money to avoid having to have make too many people redundant. We tried cutting costs via decreasing the number of shows we put on but we also needed to find new sources of income. We looked for new sponsors, applied for philanthropic trust grants, put on gala dinners with raffles and auctions built in, and put on one spectacularly large garage sale. And I came up with the idea of taking a group of theatre lovers to Canada with a “donation” built into the cost of the tour.

Why Canada, you may ask? The two biggest theatre companies in North America are in Canada and at that time, in 2000, Toronto was the out-of-town try out location for Broadway. Two weeks in Canada meant we could see three plays in Stratford, home of the Stratford Festival, seven plays in Niagara-on-the-Lake, home of the Shaw Festival, and productions of The Lion King and Mamma Mia long before anyone else saw them.

In principle, this sounds like a great idea, right? But you have to remember this trip was before Google Maps and iPhones. When hotel bookings were done via fax machines. When one could hire a mobile phone but it was the size and weight of a brick. And where the tour guide, me, hadn’t been to two of the three cities and had/has no sense of direction. Are you starting to pity the guests?

Don’t.

When I proposed this tour idea to the Chairman of the MTC Board, his response was “don’t be an idiot” (although his language was somewhat stronger). He said “people on tours turn into children. You’ll be running around being their slave.” I didn’t believe him. This was going to be a group of middle aged, middle class, well-travelled people who could look after themselves.

I held a number of briefing sessions before we departed to ensure that people were well-informed  and booked myself some recovery time on Hawaii at the end of the tour just in case he was right.

So who was right?

The Chairman.

From the moment we reached the airport and someone said “did you see where I put my luggage?” it started. From being the first person at breakfast to wrangle food challenges to being the last to bed after I’d got them all home after a show, it was utterly exhausting. There were people who didn’t like their hotel rooms. People who didn’t like their theatre seats. People who wanted to go on a tour even though they hadn’t signed up to it. People who couldn’t get anywhere on time unless they were herded like sheep. Taxis that didn’t turn up. Buses that didn’t into the narrow streets of a small town. Bed and breakfast establishments that delivered neither comfortable beds or tasty breakfasts. And in the middle of all of this there was a disaster back in Melbourne. The legendary actress Ruth Cracknel was in a show and got sick so when I finally got back to my room each night, with a restorative glass of wine in hand, I was on the phone to Australia trying to avoid cancellations which would have wiped out any kind of “profit” from the tour.

But of course it wasn’t all bad. The wonderful Pamela Rabe was back in her home country presenting her one woman show about Virginia Woolf. Tasting the ice wine of the Niagara vineyards was an experience. Exploring the historic buildings, including theatres, of Niagara-on-the-Lake, was fascinating. Having special presentations by Artistic Directors and drinks with actors was informative and fun. And the plays. We saw works by Shaw and Shakespeare, Coward and Wilder. We had fun at Fiddler on the Roof and not surprisingly, the men loved The Lion King whereas the women all identified with Mamma Mia. And I didn’t manage to lose anyone along the way. 

Pamela Rabe in "A Room of one's own"

Royal George Theatre, Niagara-on-the-lake, 2018

All in all, the travellers enjoyed themselves and for a number of years afterwards kept asking me to take another tour. Although once was enough for me, I learnt to admire and respect the emotional labour that a good tour guide has to undertake to make a positive journey for the rest of us.