MEMORY

 30 July 2026

My memory has always had weaknesses. I can’t picture words and so I can’t spell them. I don’t remember the connection between faces and names particularly well. I’ve never been good at learning poetry or remembering quotes from plays or books. And I have to use apps such as Libib and Letterboxd to remember the books I’ve read and the films I’ve seen. So as the body starts to disintegrate with age, I do worry about what might happen to the mind as well.

Recently, I’ve seen the impact of various forms of memory loss amongst friends. I’ve seen how people deal with such challenges. In one case, one has taken on the diagnosis bravely albeit with fear about what this might mean for themselves and their loved ones in the future. In another case, there’s an acknowledgement of what’s happening but no desire to find out more or consider what it might mean going forward. And in the final case, I’ve lost the friend I had. She is no longer capable of recognising me let alone having a conversation. It’s utterly utterly heartbreaking to see a person who was vibrant and thoughtful, full of laughter and care, reduced to lying on a bed in a dementia ward staring at the TV. Luckily, she has committed family and kindly friends who come to check on her well-being every day – and to make sure that the TV stays on the ABC! – but I hope, and they hope, that this torment won’t go on for much longer.

The beautiful Bobbie - 2025